National Day of Silence

GLSEN’s 2005 National School Climate Survey found that more than 64% of LGBT students report verbal, sexual or physical harassment at school and 29% report missing at least a day of school in the past month out of fear for their personal safety. The Day of Silence is one way students and their allies are making anti-LGBT bullying, harassment and name-calling unacceptable in America’s schools.

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Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. ~Josh Billings

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Today, Wednesday, April 18, 2007, was the 11th annual National Day of Silence, and the first one I've participated in. Last year I missed it and regretted it very much; this year I only happened to note it about a week ago, it's fortunate that I didn't miss it again.

This year's day of silence also comes at a time where we have much to silently reflect on, as well. Several people assumed that my day-long silence was in mourning for the great tragedy at VA-Tech; in a way, it was.

Here were the cards that I passed out, straight from the day of silence website.

"Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence, a national youth movement protesting the silence faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their allies in schools. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by harassment, prejudice, and discrimination. I believe that ending the silence is the first step toward fighting these injustices. Think about the voices you are not hearing today. What are you going to do to end the silence?"

I took around a notepad, too, which may or may not have been cheating. My excuse is that I wanted to explain myself a little. The cards, while very good in impressing the seriousness of the gesture on people (important since taking-vows-of-silence-on-dares have gotten popular among band geeks lately), failed to note something essential:

This day isn't just for the gays, people, although it was created by the LGBT community first and foremost. It's a day which stands for the silence of all those who are bullied at school, who hear derogatory terms like "fag" or "chink" or, yes, "nappy-headed ho" directed at them. It is a day for my chemistry teacher's 2nd-grade son, who gets jumped by 3rd-graders on the playground and then asked why he didn't come find a teacher. It's a day which commemorates every person who had to hide some of who they are for their safety, their sanity, to fit in. It's a day that mourns all the countless teenagers who have been driven to despair or even suicide, alone, alienated, silent.

Silences often go unnoticed; today I tried to make my silence loud. So people would notice it. So people would notice others.


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My day began and ended in band, and firstly, let me just say. I've never been so thankful for band. When you can't make any vocal sound (I tried to keep the giggling down to a minimum--for all that, it wasn't an entirely solemn day; I was happy to be doing it and proud to share), it really is something to be able to make a sound on an instrument.

I passed out over half my cards in that band 0 period, not that I had printed too many. I recruited two other participants, both LGBT or allied students. And then I set off for my academic classes.

My English, Economics, and French teachers, I walked right up to, first thing, handed a speaking card and a small note of apology for any inconvenience. Both were fine with it, which made me very glad--especially in French, as that class is speaking-centric and I wasn't sure I'd get permission to basically sit out for a day. I did; it went fine.

For my math and physics teachers, I tried an experiment and just didn't say anything to them about it (pun, ahem, intended). Neither seemed to notice anything amiss--less a reflection on them than on my slightly more reserved behavior in those classes, I think.

People were very interested all day, in what I was doing and why I was carrying around my little notepad. Everyone was very supportive. Varying responses were:

"That's cool. That's really cool."

"Oh man, that's today? Damn. I did that last year. Man, I can't believe I missed it."

"Wow. I could never do that."

The end of the day was so strange, me not talking, a photographer visiting my band class and taking dozens of pictures of me (for the newspaper, heaven knows why), me not being able to explain or say hello, how nice to meet you.

I broke the day of silence--with one other participant, haha--as soon as the final bell rang, and said thank you very much to the photographer. He asked what it was about and I showed him the card and explained a bit. He was very nice, walked with me for a while to see if he could get some more shots. I dunno how photogenic I was, not very, I'm sure, but it was so nice to be able to say thank you to someone, finally.

Oddly enough, that was what kept almost tripping me up. Thank you's and excuse me's. They come from some deep part of the brain stem that is almost beyond voluntary control.

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Whenever you stop and listen for a day, you're supposed to learn loads, or at least hear things you wouldn't normally hear. Here are the things that I learned, and that were different:

(a) Music is like talking; it's so close it almost feels like cheating.
(b) It's really hard to write on a pad and walk and not knock into people.
(c) When you knock into people, it's really hard not to say excuse me.
(d) One would think that having to write down everything makes you more reflective, or at least only say the really important things. For me, no chance. Everything was stupid and irrelevant. It needed to be; that's what I was missing.
(e) Your comedic timing is really thrown off, with the writing. By 5th period, I had it down well enough to know what sort of punchlines, though, could work.
(f) It's funny to see when people notice. I only prewarned a few; the rest got to figure it out on their own. Some kids I see in every class didn't figure it out 'til lunch. :P
(g) Universal sign language is 50% smile, 50% vague hand gestures that could really mean anything at all.

It was a fun challenge, and I hope it raised awareness just a tad, even if only among the people directly around me. If I have free time this evening, I think I'm going to take all the little notes I wrote and fold them into little cranes (the only origami I can do reliably) and give them to people. Just...because.